Traditional, different or...a compromise?

Will you want to try something a little different?

Nowadays you can get married almost anywhere: in a church or other house of worship, a hotel, on a beach, abroad, on a boat, underwater or even on a rollercoaster. So how do you decide which one is for you? First have a think about how you view your wedding – do you want it to have a fun-filled party atmosphere, or would you prefer the more traditional, serious feel?

There is a tendency to steer towards the side of traditional because ‘that’s just the way it’s done’, and it is all too easy to be swept along in the current as soon as you start to plan for the day. So, before you start planning, STOP for a moment:

         -  Have a talk with your fiancé about what you don’t want, as these ideas will usually be more established within each of your minds than what you do want. (Hopefully you will find that you each don’t want the same things!)

         - Think about other weddings you have been to before and pick out the elements that you liked

        -  Are you in a position that yours or your fiancé’s parents will have a say in your day? If so, what are they likely to expect?

     - Do you both like to try new things and branch out? You could consider a Handfasting or a Medieval ceremony

        - Are you both from different religious backgrounds? Will you need a fusion of 2 very different kinds of tradition? Or, instead, 2 completely different ceremonies in 2 different countries?

But, whatever your situation and preference, remember that there will always have to be a compromise somewhere along the line, whether it be on your part or your other half’s.

For example: When sitting in a sauna in a ski resort in France and first talking about my wedding with my brand new fiancé it went something like this:

Chris: “So, how do you see our wedding being?”

Me: (After a giggle of excitement) “Well....we could go abroad somewhere and get married on a beach at sunset, just us and a few close friends. How about you?”

Chris: “I want a really big party near home.”

Me: “Oh.”

What we ended up doing was unsurpassable for us so I am glad that I compromised on that one!

I thought that I would like a beach wedding, somewhere exotic

Your ideas will evolve and morph into your eventual plan, and it may end up being something completely different to what you had dreamed. Have fun with it and think it through before you do anything else such as seeing venues or looking at dresses.

Above all, remember, that it is yours and your partner’s day. 

So, what are you planning and what have you always dreamed?

And so it begins

Not only my blog, but my married life. I married my partner of 4 years, Chris, in June 2010. In the process of planning our wedding, I came to realise several pearls of wisdom, which I wish I had know beforehand.

I would like to share with you now some of these pearls:

- Make it known from day 1 that you and your partner are in control. If anyone is thinking of 'helping', or talking to family about the event ask them to ask you first!

- Shop around. It may sound obvious but it can be very tempting amidst all of the goings on when planning to 'save time' and just go ahead with using a company or buying that dress without having a proper look around. Look around so that you know you are paying the right sort of prices and getting the right item.

- Choose a 'theme'. By this I don't mean 'Let's all dress as Xena' (unless that is your thing...), I mean think about what feel you want your wedding to have. A lot of this may depend upon the venue, but not necessarily in every case. This theme can be the thread that runs right the way through, from invites to table decoration to the music.

Would you like it to feel modern, traditional, classic, chic, hippy, goth, country life, pagan, beachy? Or maybe it's just a colour theme. Doing this can give you continuity and help in your decision-making.

And finally (for now...)

- Make it personal. This maybe the biggest party you will ever throw. All of your loved ones will be there, in one place, for you. Add those personal touches which reflect your personalities, hobbies and interests; your guests will always remember that. For example, some friends of ours who were married a couple of years ago had their reception in a sailing club. They are both into watersports and they had large pebbles on the tables, the invites included a diary reminder in the shape of a sail, one of their favours was a small boat and their cake consisted of individual friands with sails made out of paper. Fabulous!

Adding a personal touch, as well as a theme

I will be exploring more about themes in future posts, but for now I will leave you with this to ponder:

If you were to be married or to marry again, in what way would you reflect your personality?